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busy even in the middle of the night, and sheneeded to get to an inn that sat
three streets over and oneback.
She grinned, unfazed. She was still alive, by the gods. Shecould handle
anything.
Chapter
36
D
anya stepped outside of the shield andpicked up the baby. He opened his eyes
and looked at her, trustingher. Loving her. His love encircled her again, and
she responded toit. She pressed his soft face lightly against her scaled cheek
andblinked back the tears that threatened to spill from them. He madea soft,
mewling sound. He s hungry, she thought, and she puthim to her breast.
She did not think about Luercas, about the future, aboutanything at all. She
didn t dare let herself think. While sheheld him and fed him, she lived for
that moment only, kneeling onthe floor beside the chair that was still warm
from her baby spresence. He wriggled and her arm cradled his tiny body, and
hissweet scent filled her nostrils, and his love encompassed her. Histiny
mouth tugged at her nipple, and her flat breasts tingled asthey filled with
milk. In that moment, she was a mother with anewborn baby, and she loved him
and he loved her, and the futurewas nothing that mattered. In that moment,
they were two bodies andtwo souls joined in a bond that transcended thought
and mind andthe necessity of the world.
The strangers the Falcons were all around her, butshe ignored them.
Luercas hovered inside her head, but she blockedhim out, too. None of them had
anything to do with this moment,with this beautiful thing that passed between
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her and her son. Thismoment was for her. It was something she could keep,
something shecould cherish. It was beyond right or wrong, beyond fair or
unfair.It simply was.
The baby s eyes drifted shut, and Danya brushed one scaledfinger along his
skin, and leaned her face close to his again. Shefelt his breath on her cheek.
She kissed him as best she could withher deformed face; her long muzzle and
predator s teeth madethe gesture almost impossible. He was already everything
in herworld. A tiny scrap of flesh and breath and life, and she wanted togive
him everything he desired, wanted to build walls around him tokeep him safe,
and wanted to change the world to fit his needs.
She rose and climbed onto the dais again, this time holding himin her arms. As
she slipped within the walls of the Ancients shield, she felt the hundreds of
tendrils that connected him to thedistant
Falcons snap, like the threads of a spiderweb when a handbrushed it away. He
woke and looked
at her again, but hedidn t cry. He just looked, those round innocent
eyessearching her face, uncomprehending.
He would not have been allowed to live past his first Gaerwandayin Calimekka,
she thought. He was Scarred by magic, even if helooked outwardly human. He was
already growing visibly
notyet a day old, he already had the form of an infant two or threemonths old.
He would have been sacrificed to the gods of Iberismfor the good of the people
of Ibera.
He lay in her arms, and a smile flitted across his face. Eyescrinkled, dimples
appeared, a broad toothless grin flashed and thenvanished. He was a beautiful
little boy. And helpless. He was stillhelpless.
But only for the moment.
She lifted a corner of the blanket away from his chest. Shecould see the lines
of each tiny rib beneath his skin, could seehis breath moving through his
body, could see the tremor of thechest wall where his heart beat. A drop of
water landed on hissternum and beaded and trembled in time to the beating of
hisheart, and she realized she was crying.
I love you, he said into her mind.
I know, she whispered, and stabbed two talons intohis skin, between those
fragile ribs, into the tiny heart. Ilove you, too. But you can t live for
the good of thepeople of Ibera, you can t live.
He screamed in pain, and bright blood welled up around hertalons. She held
them in place and the first wave of magic rolledover her as he tried to heal
himself. The magic flowed from himinto her, though, and she felt her body
changing again felther skin burning and her bones melting and her blood
boilingthrough her veins.
He screamed, Save me!
into her mind, but she closed hismind-cries out the way she blocked out his
physical shrieks.
He thrashed and his tiny hands flailed against her talons, andhis round little
feet drummed against her chest.
She was doing the wrong thing. She knew it. She knew she waswrong to sacrifice
him, just as she knew the people of Ibera werewrong to sacrifice their Scarred
children. She could still savehim.
He could still live, if she just pulled those claws free fromhis heart. He
would still be her child, and he would forgive herthe evil thing she had tried
to do.
But she had sworn to the gods that she would have her revenge.In order to keep
her promise, she had to make this sacrifice. Onebaby had to die. One baby. Her
baby, and only because he stoodbetween her and the justice she owed to the
Sabirs and theGalweighs. She had seen him in the future, standing at the head
ofthe Falcons, with all the world subject to his edicts, and shecould not
allow that, either.
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The second wave of magic hit her, and she hung on. She couldfeel his
desperation even as her body melted and mutated andthen she felt the thing
that almost stopped her. She felt his love.He still loved her.
She cried out and closed her eyes tightly and turned her faceaway from him.
She pictured Crispin
Galweigh, the rape, thetorture, her pain. She fought to find her hatred, and
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