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their bodies. Until this moment, however, she hadn t known that he felt it too& and she wondered if he
was as afraid to acknowledge the feeling as she was.
Chapter Eleven
London was so vastly different from the serenity of Hampshire that Lottie could scarcely believe it was in
the same country. It was a world of high fashion and endless amusements, with a sharp juxtaposition of
poverty and wealth, and crime-ridden alleys tucked behind the streets of prosperous markets and shops.
There was the area past Temple Bar called the City, and the west side, referred to as town, and an
abundance of gardens, walks, concert halls, and shops featuring luxuries that she could never have
imagined.
As the second week of their marriage began, Nick seemed to find it amusing to indulge Lottie as if she
were a child he was bent on spoiling. He took her to a confectioner s shop at Berkeley Square and
bought her an ice made of pureed chestnuts mixed liberally with candied cherries. Afterward they
proceeded to Bond Street, where he purchased her a selection of French powders and scented waters,
and a dozen pairs of embroidered silk stockings. Lottie tried to stop him from buying a fortune s worth of
white gloves and handkerchiefs from the linen-draper s, and she objected strongly to a pair of pink silk
shoes with gold tassels that would have cost a full month s tuition at Maidstone s. However, Nick
ignored her protests as he continued to purchase whatever caught his fancy. Their final stop was at a tea
shop, where he ordered a half-dozen exotic teas in beautiful jars, bearing intriguing names such as
gunpowder, congou, or souchong.
Envisioning the mountain of packages that would be delivered later that day to the house on Betterton,
Lottie begged him to desist. I need nothing else, she said firmly, and I refuse to set foot in one more
shop. There is no reason for such immoderation.
Yes, there is, Nick replied, escorting her to their waiting carriage, piled high with parcels and boxes.
Oh? What is it?
He responded with a maddening smile. Surely he didn t think that he was purchasing her sexual favors,
as she had been more than acquiescent in that regard. Perhaps he simply wanted her to feel obligated to
him? But why?
Life with Nick Gentry was turning out to be quite puzzling, consisting of moments of searing closeness
interspersed with small reminders that they were still complete strangers in most regards. She did not
understand why Nick left her bed every night after making love to her, never allowing himself to drift to
sleep beside her. After everything else they had shared, that seemed harmless enough. But he refused her
awkward invitations to stay, stating that he preferred to sleep alone, and they would both be more
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comfortable that way.
Lottie quickly discovered that certain subjects set off Nick s temper like a flame held to gunpowder. She
learned never to question him about any part of his boyhood, and that any reference to the days before
he took the name of Nick Gentry would earn his certain wrath. When he became angry, he did not shout
or throw things, but instead was coldly quiet and left the house, and did not return until long after she had
gone to bed. She learned also that Nick never allowed himself to be vulnerable in any way. He preferred
to stay in complete control of himself and his environment. He considered it unmanly for someone not to
be able to hold his liquor she had yet to see him drink to excess. Even sleep seemed to be a luxury he
did not like to indulge in too often, as if he could not afford to relax into unguarded slumber. In fact,
according to Sophia, Nick had never even allowed physical injuries to hamper him he stubbornly
refused to yield to pain or weakness.
Why? Lottie had asked Sophia in genuine bewilderment, as they went for dress fittings and waited for
the gowns to be brought out. What does he fear, that he cannot allow himself to be unprotected for one
moment?
For a moment, Nick s older sister had stared at her with an obvious longing to reply. Her deep blue
eyes were filled with sadness. I hope that someday he will confide in you, she said softly. It is a great
burden to bear alone. I am certain that he fears your reaction, once you are told.
Told what? Lottie persisted, but to her frustration, Sophia would not answer.
Some great fearful secret. Lottie could not fathom what it might be. She could only suppose that he had
killed someone, perhaps in a fury that was the worst thing she could think of. She knew that he had
committed crimes in his past, that he had done things that would probably horrify her. He was so guarded
and self-possessed that it seemed she would never come to know him fully.
In other ways, however, Nick was an unexpectedly tender and generous husband. He coaxed her to tell
him all the rules that had been drilled into her at school, and then he proceeded to make her break every
single one of them. There were nights when he launched a gentle assault on her modesty, undressing her
in the lamplight and making her watch as he kissed her from head to toe& and others when he made love
to her in exotic ways that shamed and excited her beyond bearing. He could arouse her with a single
glance, a brief caress, a soft word whispered in her ear. It seemed to Lottie that entire days passed in a
haze of sexual desire, her awareness of him simmering beneath everything they did.
After the crates of books she had ordered arrived, she read to Nick in the evenings, as she sat in bed
and he lounged beside her. Sometimes while he listened, Nick would pull her legs into his lap and
massage her feet, running his thumbs along her instep and playing gently with her toes. Whenever Lottie
paused in her reading, she always found his gaze fastened securely on her. He never seemed to tire of
staring at her& as if he were trying to uncover some mystery that was hidden in her eyes.
One evening he taught her to play cards, claiming sexual liberties as forfeits each time she lost. They
ended up on the carpeted floor in a tangle of limbs and clothing, while Lottie breathlessly accused him of
cheating. He only grinned in reply, thrusting his head beneath her skirts until the issue was entirely
forgotten.
Nick was an exciting companion a fascinating storyteller, a superb dancer, a skilled lover. He was
playful but not at all boyish, never quite losing the seasoned look that proclaimed he had seen and done
enough to last several lifetimes. He escorted Lottie around London with an energy that far eclipsed her
own, seeming to know and be known by practically everyone. More than once, at a subscription dance,
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or a private party, or even walking through the park, Lottie could not help but be aware of the attention
he attracted. Nick was regarded as either a hero or a devil, depending on one s view, and everyone
wanted to be seen with him regardless. Innumerable men came to shake his hand, and to seek his
opinions on various matters. Women, on the other hand, trembled and giggled and flirted shamelessly
with him, even in Lottie s presence. Lottie witnessed such overtures with surprised disgruntlement,
realizing that she felt very much like a jealous wife.
At the invitation of some friends, Nick and Lottie attended a play at Drury Lane that staged naval battles
using complicated machinery and light displays to thrilling effect. Actors dressed like sailors hurled
themselves from the sides of the ship in perfect conjunction with the bursts of cannon-fire, their shirts
blotched with red paint to resemble blood. The results were so realistic that Lottie clapped her hands
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